lifelong battle

Yesterday, Andrew and I finally got a date night (actually, it was more like a date afternoon) and we went to see Breaking Dawn. I am a Twilight fan, like so many others, and was looking forward to seeing the movie…but not nearly as much as something else that went along with the movie. What was it, you ask?

The POPCORN. 3 cups of movie theater popcorn (no butter) and a Coke Zero, to be exact.

You see, I am on Weight Watchers. I have been on Weight Watchers since the end of October, and I have currently lost 14.4 lbs! (That’s in about 4 1/2 weeks, for those of you that didn’t do the math!) It is very exciting….especially because I have been discontent with myself since Blakely was born. Actually – who am I kidding?

I have struggled with my weight pretty much my whole life. I know why, too. It’s FOOD! I love it. I can be kind of picky, but if it’s something I know I like…oh, I’m in heaven. I love to enjoy my food, and that has been my downfall. I have had to fight it since I can remember, and I still remember when I was a freshman in college…I stepped on the scale, and I had my “I’VE HAD ENOUGH” moment once I saw the number. (By the way…that number I saw is my current weight, even after losing 14.4 lbs!!!! Shows you how I’m still fighting this!)

I buckled down then and there – I ate Cheerios 2 out of 3 meals, took naps when I was hungry, and really watched calories. I worked out at Fike, the gym on Clemson’s campus, regularly, and finally broke the hold that food had on me. I started realizing that get-togethers, boredom, etc., should NOT always include something to eat, and I dropped 35 pounds by summer! I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I will never forget the time Mom and I went shopping…we were in the Limited, and I tried on a shirt that had a boatneck. Mom didn’t like it because it showed how bony my collarbone was. Although that doesn’t sound good, that comment made me SO HAPPY – I had NEVER had anyone tell me I was bony before!!!

I got rid of all of my “fat” clothes then, and I was pretty happy with myself for a while. When I got married, my dress was a size 6 – that was exciting for me! We got married Dec. 18, 2005, in Key West, and that weekend I was in a bikini pretty much the entire time. (I was still so self-conscious about my stomach, even though now I want to kick the old me!)

As we settled into married life, the weight came back very gradually. I look at pictures of myself that first year, and I still was at a good size, but when I got pregnant with Carlyn in the fall of 2007, it was all downhill from there. I gained 40 lbs, like many first-time moms do, and it didn’t all come off after she was born. I then got pregnant with Blakely, and I only gained 28 lbs with her.  She was 10 lbs, 3 oz when she was born…talk about a different way to shed 10 lbs! (That’s actually what I said when they were cleaning her up – I kept talking about losing 10 lbs!) However, you would think that losing those 18 lbs. that were left would be easy. Nope! When I finally gave in and started WW, I was 4 lbs. away from my starting pregnancy weight with Blakely. That’s not saying I hadn’t tried, however.

I had been ready to lose the weight since Blakely was about 6 weeks old. I bought books on exercising for new moms, I started walking, I “watched” what I ate, I downloaded apps on my phone to track calories, exercise, etc. However, as you can see….it didn’t work! I even read books about being vegan because of chemicals, etc., in meat and dairy, and so I gave up most of my meat intake. It still wasn’t working!

The final straw was when I went to the doctor for my anxiety. I realized then I needed to get physically healthy, as well as mentally. I asked for tips on weight loss, and then later in the week I saw my gyno (Dr. Alt- LOVE HER – if you are looking for a new one, RUN to Highlands Center for Women in Greenville!). I asked her for tips as well, and she made some suggestions…one of them was Weight Watchers. She was so nice about everything – she said some of her patients who had wanted to lose weight had been successful doing WW. That was what I needed. (She has a way of getting me to do things – she is also the one who suggested I sign up to do Tastefully Simple. She’s one of my clients, in fact! 🙂 )

The next day – I signed up on the WW website to do the online program! I paid for 3 months, and I haven’t looked back. I QUICKLY realized that although some of my food choices have been healthy, I wasn’t watching portions or paying attention to labels. That makes a big difference. Also, on the new Points Plus program, you can eat as many fruits and veggies (well, most fruits and veggies) as you want. That is great, because if I’m hungry in the afternoon, I brew some green tea (no points) and eat a clementine or apple…and I can still stay on track!

The first week, I ate steak, potatoes, bread, a brownie, Chick-Fil-A, and some Halloween candy…and still lost SEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS. It’s insane to me. You get weekly points in addition to your daily points that you can use, but if you are careful, you don’t need to use them! You also can earn points by exercising…but not as many as you would think. Now, since that first week, I have had a slow week or two…one weekend we went to Atlanta, and I blew through my points – daily and weekly – like there was no tomorrow, and this past weekend I wasn’t as careful as I normally am. However, I have lost every week. In fact, the week I lost the least amount – .2 lbs – was last week, when I was skipping lunch! I was hardly eating during the day (I had to stop that though – it was messing with my gallbladder), and I guess my metabolism slowed down, because I barely lost.

This has been great for me, like I said. I see how the realization I had when I was in college – food does not need to be a crutch – is coming through again. We are eating in more, we’re more aware of the things we are putting in our body, and I am realizing that all the times I’m at home with the girls…I need to stay away from the pantry! 🙂 I don’t really deny myself stuff I really want, unless I see in my points bank that I really don’t need whatever it is I am wanting. I just really watch portions, and try to savor every bite…like someone said on a WW website – “the first bite will taste the same as the last!” I really like that.

I definitely still enjoy food. This weekend, we went to Bucky’s BBQ, and I thought I could die and go to heaven after eating some pork (which I normally don’t eat!) with the mustard sauce, green beans, sweet potato crunch, and sweet tea!! (I had not had sweet tea since I started WW because 1 cup is 3 points – however, it was worth it this day!) We went to my grandma’s for an early Thanksgiving lunch Sunday, and I enjoyed myself there by eating one small portion of everything I wanted. I also knew we would be going to the movies, so I calculated the points for popcorn the day before and ate as little as possible yesterday as I waited to go. I tell ya – it was worth it! We even went to Longhorn after, and I still stayed under my daily points when I ordered a steak, veggies, and salad.

My weight check is Friday morning, so we’ll see how much I’ll lose this week – but I checked this morning, and I’m already down 1.5 lbs since last Friday! Thanksgiving is tomorrow so I am going to be on my best behavior. 🙂 My goal is 30 more pounds…I know that seems like a lot, but I can’t wait to see if I can do it. I think I definitely can. 🙂